The basic factor that determines the greater or lesser success of parents in upbringing their children is parents’ emotional relation to the child, i.e. their parental attitude.
Happiness is determined by the intimacy, interaction with family members, which in turn creates the emotional bond and the feelings.
Most of us think that the emotional relation to the kid is always positive.
You couldn’t be further from the truth…
Not every parent is kind and affectionate towards the child, not everyone is ready to contact and interact with him, not everyone recognizes his right to free and appropriate to his age actions and not everyone respects his dignity as a separate developing human being.
Parental attitudes have a plastic character and are subject to change as the child changes, in various stages of their development. However, if the parents parallel to the development of the child do not adjust their attitudes toward the particular developmental period of their kid, they may expect conflict situations as well as children’s behavioral disorders.
It have a great pleasure in presenting the characteristics of proper parental attitudes.
The table shows different types of parents’ behavior who present the given type of parents’ attitude and the characteristics of the children as a result of the application of specific educational procedures.
|The type of attitude||Positive attitudes|
|The adaptation of the child||1. They do not hide their emotions toward the child and they do not pretend
2. Accepts the child as he/she is, with their physical characteristics, temperament, intellectual ability, ease of achievement in certain areas, limitations and difficulties in others.
3. They give their child love and appreciation for just being who he/she is and not for what he/she does.
4. They are empathic, tolerant, but not uncritical towards the child’s behavior.
|1. They feel safe.
2. They are cheerful, nice, brave, satisfied with his existence and tolerant.
3. They are able to express their own feelings and establish emotional bonds.
|Cooperation with the child||1. They are engaged and interested in fun and learning of their children.
2. They engage a child in a family life, in household chores, assign tasks adequate to child’s age and ability.
3. They give the child the right to express his/her own opinions and to decide about close ones.
|1. They are trusting their parents, often ask for help and advice.
2. They are persistent, satisfied with their own work.
3. They care about their property and others.
4. They overcome obstacles, thereby strengthening their self-esteem.
5. They feel they are needed.
|Giving the child a reasonable freedom||1. They give the child, as far as possible, great freedom of choice and action.
2. The parents put reasonable demands and obligations, at the same time they trust the child.
|1. They are self-independent and responsible for themselves and their own behavior.
2. They are full of ideas and smart.
3. They easily adapt to a new situation.
4. They interact with others.
|Recognition of the rights of the child||1. They, together with the child, shall agree on their duties and rights.
2. They are patient, willing to spend their time with the child. They allow the kid to act independently, while at the same time giving the impression that they are responsible for the effects of their actions.
3. They explain and suggest but do not impose his will.
4. They respect the child and treat him as an equal family member.
|1. They know their limitations, know what is expected from them, and they try to live up to expectations.
2. They recognize the rights of others and express their opinions.
Positive attitudes give the child a sense of happiness and protect from future risky behaviors. His basic needs such as security, acceptance and independence are met.
In the next part I will present you parental attitudes which should be avoided for the good of your child.
- M. Ziemska „Rodzina i dziecko”
- M. Ziemska „Postawy rodzicielskie”