Our parental attitude…

The first part included a breif characteristics concerning parents’ positive attitudes that are welcome the most. The second part is dedicated to the negative parental attitudes which stunt the development of the realistic realism of ourselves. A child cannot acquire knowledge or realise how good or bad he is, and what’s more, he is not aware of the shortcomings in his own education. The reasonable assesment enable us to accept ourselves despite our failings, shortcomings or flaws. However, it doesn’t eliminate making corrections as far as possible. But, there are some qualities that cannot be changed, we have to deal with them and accept them, anyway. Negative attitude (described below) definitely do not help our child to accept himself, they are tightly connected with a high incidence of disabilities concerning emotional-social development.

 

Type of attitude Negative attitude
Parent Child
Avoiding 1. He/She doesn’t satisfy child’s emotional needs.

2. He/She ignores a child. Being with a child is difficult and it doesn’t make him/ her happy.

3. He/She neglects a child emotionally.

4. He/She is inconsistent in observing the rules.

5. He/She is emotionally indiffrent, passive and compliant.

6. He/She shows his/her carelessness, silliness, irresponsibility.

 

1. He/She is aware of the shortcomings that satisfy emotional needs.

2. He/She is unable to form constant ties.

3. He/She is suspicious, shy and strife-prone.

4. He/She suffers from the lack of focus.

5. He/She is unable to give an objective opinion.

6. He/She is not persistent in his/her action.

Overly protecting 1. He/She is unduly, permissive and caring.

2. He/She isolates a child from living in a socjety, and thereby, such children cannot be self-reliant.

3. He/She is uncritical towards a child, who is perceived as the ideal for himself.

4. He/She panders to his/her child. Tolerating child’s rude behaviour is nothing wrong.

5. He/ She satisfies child’s whims.

6. He/She agrees that a child rules the whole family.

7. He/She undervalues child’s possiblities. They protect them againt any effort.

8. He/She fixes a child’s problem.

9. He/She restricts a child’s freedom in the name of his/her weal.

10. He/She dreads the child’s safety; he/she pampers a child.

1. He/She shows retardation of the social-emotional maturity.

2. He/She is dependent, self-important, rowdy, his/her self-esteem is very high.

3. He/She is passive, but persistent.

4. He/She is dependent on his/her parent.

5. He/She shows some features of childish personality.

 

Rejecting

1. He/She creates an emotional distance.

2. He/She dominates a child, criticizes directly, shows evident hostility.

3. He/She punishes in a severe way. He/She has some coercive demands.

4. He/She sometimes acts contrary to the prohibition, rides roughshod over a child.

5. He/She believes that a child is a burden and an obstacle to achieve personal goals.

6. He/She doesn’t like children, neglect them.

7. He/She entrusts a child’s care to other people or istitutions.

1. He/She is naughty and aggressive.

2. A development of the high emotion is on a very low level.

3. He/She shows anti-social behaviour.

4. He/She is contentious and wrathful.

5. He/She might be socially inept, he/she may have neurotic disorder.

Excessively demanding 1. With regard to a child he/she has high expectations.

2. He/ She dominates a child, sets unreasonable requirements, forces a child to adjust to his/her own created pattern.

3. He/She overloads a child continually, filling a child’s schedule completely, not caring a hang about child’s possibilities.

4. He/She doesn’t respect child’s laws and individuality.

5. He/She restricts his independence, freedom. He/She imposes own will.

6. He/She applies unyielding rules and punishments.

7. He/She criticizes a child because he fails to live up to their parents’ expectations.

1. He/She is apprehensive and submissive.

2. He/She doesn’t believe in himself/herself.

3. He/She is prone to frustration, lives under pressure.

4. He/She is uncertain and oversensitive.

5. He/she has problems with concentration, might be irritable.

There is no pattern, or a handbook that show us the way to ideal child’s upringing. Raising a child we usuallny act intuitively, governed by patterns from our childhood. It should be remembered that wrong dealing as a parent is not the effect of his/her malevolence towards a child, because everybody in his estimation wants to behave as best he or she can. Mistakes are made by all, but there is always time for reflection.

Literature:

  1. M. Ziemska „Rodzina i dziecko”
  2. M. Ziemska „Postawy rodzicielskie”

 

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